My friends tell me that they feel like they don't connect as much with their home friends as they used to before college. Is this normal? How can I maintain my relationships with friends from home?
9 Answers
This is pretty normal. Things felt different even the first time being home since leaving for college-- it's a completely normal thing. This happens all throughout life- friends come and go. It's not necessarily a bad thing, people just move down different paths. You can try and keep your home friends close, though. It might just take some work. If you want to stay close with them, schedule time to skype and text them often. However, don't let this detract from meeting people in college. There has to be a balance.
Answered
Sadly, it's normal to not be as close to your old friends once you start college. You aren't seeing each other every day and you don't have as much in common anymore. It's definitely possible (thanks to technology) to stay close to a handful of old friends if both you and them put in the effort to keep the friendship alive. If you both want to keep the friendship alive, try to Facetime/snapchat/text often!
Kaitlin H. from UC Irvine
Answered
This is definitely normal - it's actually expected. Both sides of the relationship are going to be experiencing new things and those things are going to be shaping them differently. To maintain relationships, definitely keep in touch - call every once in a while, send them pictures that remind you of them, etc. Whenever I go home, I make an effort to see my best friend, even if it's just to catch up over coffee - it makes all the difference.
Christine A. from USC
Answered
Like the previous answers, I think this is totally normal! You're going to make new friends in college and have new experiences, and that's completely okay. If you want to maintain your friendships with friends from home, I've found social media to be the easiest way. It doesn't take long to send a Snapchat, but it allows your friends from home to see what's going on in your day-to-day life and vice versa. I also like to have a certain time each week or every other week to Skype with some of my close friends from home. Though we might not be talking every day any more, this still lets us keep up with each other and have fun together. You can also try doing activities "together" via Skype, like watching the a TV show at the same time. It's not quite the same as being in the same room, but it's close!
Brittany L. from Temple
Answered
This is definitely normal. As you and your friends get older and have new, different experiences, you are bound to change as people. It's inevitable to lose at least one or two friends from high school because you become different people, and that is okay. If you want to maintain your relationships, make sure to keep in touch. It doesn't have to be as often as it was in high school, but give them a call every once in a while and get together with your friends. Keep making new memories and you'll be able to maintain those relationships.
I think it's completely normal to drift away from your friends back home. I realized that some of the friends I had at home were only my friends because we had four classes a day together. If you're wanting to keep these friendships going -- it's going to take a lot of effort. Set up times to visit when you're both going to be home. Just grabbing coffee can go a long way.
Francine F. from UC Santa Cruz
Answered
Long distance friendships are hard! No doubt about that. What helped me was keeping up with my friends via text and calling. This didn't happen everyday, as well all had our busy college and work schedules, but checking in on each other from time to time or sending something when we thought of the other person helped keep the connection and make it feel like we were never apart when we finally reunited.
I agree with what both Julia and Victoria pointed out in that this is a normal process of distance, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you'll be able to maintain those precious friendships that you don't want to lose sight of.
Be open to the fact that the dynamic of your friendship might change while you are apart, but that doesn't mean that you won't be friends anymore. There are the years where we really start to realize who we are and where our place is in the world, and you're either going to grow with people or grow apart. Work at your connections but don't force them either.
I agree with what both Julia and Victoria pointed out in that this is a normal process of distance, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you'll be able to maintain those precious friendships that you don't want to lose sight of.
Be open to the fact that the dynamic of your friendship might change while you are apart, but that doesn't mean that you won't be friends anymore. There are the years where we really start to realize who we are and where our place is in the world, and you're either going to grow with people or grow apart. Work at your connections but don't force them either.
Julia D. from UC Santa Cruz
Answered
Yes, it's perfectly okay. In conjunction with Victoria's answer, I'd like to note that in entering college, you're bound to make many more friends whose intellectual interests and passions are more likely to resonate with you since college students are particularly driven, inquisitive and interested in finding other folks to relate to. You'll become incredibly busy at college and lose time to stay as connected with high school friends. This is okay! I'd like to reiterate as well that the high school friends who you're meant to stay friends with will remain your friends throughout college regardless of who you become. It's important also to recognize that being friends with someone does not mean you have to talk to them every single day of your life--my best friend from 3rd grade and I now attend 2 different universities, we only talk every few months and we haven't seen each other in over a year, we have become very different people--but when we see each other, it's always a celebration and we have fun. With some people, you'll pick up where you left off, and it's kind of beautiful how that works. Do not stress :)
Answered
Unfortunately, this is completely normal. More often than not, friends grow apart and lose touch once they leave high school. They either went to school, got a job or moved away. In situations such as these, it's hard to stay in contact, and people just grow apart. It's very natural.
However, if you have friends you definitely do not want to lose touch with, you should be checking in with them frequently and remain in contact with them as often as possible. Basically, if you want them in your life, you should be making efforts to remain friends with them. It takes work, but it'll be worth it in the end.
However, if you have friends you definitely do not want to lose touch with, you should be checking in with them frequently and remain in contact with them as often as possible. Basically, if you want them in your life, you should be making efforts to remain friends with them. It takes work, but it'll be worth it in the end.
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